King Arthur's Petaldust Saga is a visual novel, where you, KING ARTHUR, rescue Wales from the treacherous perils of the imperialist Saesneg empire, who seek to tear the lush realm of Cymru asunder. Who wish to garrote each and every child of Wales, herd their crumpled cadavers into pens and set them alight. And most significantly, the beasts, who strive to hew the Welsh aristocracy's skulls in twain, and parade them around the boglands of London for their own insidious amusement. BUT WHAT IS VERILY KING ARTHUR'S PETALDUST SAGA? Why, I have no idea, it's an ENIGMA! What it isn't however, is a first person shooter, RPG, AND BY GOD IT ISN'T AN RTS STRATEGY BUILDER. In fact, some may claim it doesn't have any gameplay at all! Those naysayers are simply sinister charlatans and English rabble rousers, don't mind them. Instead I can confidently proclaim that this is a visual novel, a lovely lovely visual novel, the most splendid of which you will ever envision! To reiterate, that means you read. You do not game. You just read and look at the pretty pictures. Remember, the Saxon may have the moon people on their side, BUT THE MOON PEOPLE FEAR US, FOR WE HAVE LOVELY LOVELY HATS! THOSE HATS WILL SHIELD US FROM THEIR FEARSOME GAZE! Would you like some chocolate cake? Never imbibe Petaldust. It is not healthy for a virile mind. ARGH ARGH ARGH! I AM A SEAL. Robin Hood? Wayfarer? Hedonistic beast? It matters not what your mind conjures, for all matter of bestial creature lies within your midst! For this is the realm of England, a province notorious for all manners malevolence and lunacy! It is only through the bold antics of King Arthur that we can restore order and quell and dissent that may threaten the sovereignty of Wales. Is your game interactive? Often I am accosted on the street by aspiring buyers who incessantly inquire, "MISTAH MISTAH, WILL YOUR GAME BE INTERACTIVE?". To that, I respond time and time again, "Yeah nah yeah nah mate, of course it's interactive. You're given the privilege to be able to left click your mouse in order to advance the story. If that ain't interactive, then I don't know what is." Y'know, now that I ruminate about it, I begin to realise the philosophy around that statement, for all games function in an identical way. You press a button in order to evoke a reaction, the main distinction is simply related to the proclivity of buttons you can press, coupled in there convenience and accessibility. Whether you be tapping your keyboard, or caressing your mouse, it matters not, for you still remain fixated on a bright, electronic screen and hopefully have fond memories that you'll be able to reminiscence about for the years to come. Alternatively, you could just be idling your days on Hentai games and to that I say shame, SHAME, SHAME! SMACK, NAUGHTY! SMACK SMACK. What lovely characters! Why thankyou interviewer, I agree, they are simply splendid! Did you know that we incorporated several unique art styles within this game to ensure a riveting story? WELL WE DID! I trust by sight alone, you can gauge the sheer PASSION and HEART poured into these designs. I fear that soon I may become obsessed with this game. I am nearing the point where I believe that if I were to see a young child be curb stomped or bricked by a middle aged man, instead of intervening, I would watch and contemplate, "How can I add this to my game?". I urge you as the player TO HELP BIG STAX BEFORE WE ARE CONSUMED BY KING ARTHUR'S PETALDUST SAGA! By being Welsh, you will be revered by your peers. Disclaimer: There are no moon people in this game.
