Your catapult is loaded and the sheep are ready, m'lord. Splatapult is physics siege comedy on a sun-soaked tropical island. Drag to aim your catapult, hold to charge, and send barnyard projectiles into enemy fortresses until the blocks stop pretending they’re fine. No grim war story. No lecture. Just satisfying collapse and questionable siege tactics. Seven ammo types. Seven levels of escalating nonsense. • Sheep — your trusty starter projectile • Cow — heavy hitter with a mid-air power surge • Pig — splits into three little pigs mid-flight (yes, really) • Goat — explodes when it settles. The castle does not settle. • Chicken — steer it with your cursor like a guided missile with feathers • Elephant — slow, rolling, crushing boulder of trunk-based diplomacy • Guinea Pig — cluster bomb. Pop on contact. Mini explosions. Squeaky sounds. Bonus targets. Bonus chaos. Bonus bragging rights. Knock blocks loose. Send archers flying off the ramparts. Take down grand wizards. "Rescue" the princess. Chase the high score. Reset. Chase it again. There is no finish line. Only a leaderboard and your dignity. And while you're demolishing medieval real estate, everyone on the battlefield has opinions. Over 1,000 voicelines — ancient proverbs, unhinged one-liners, meme-fueled wisdom — so your siege sounds less like a war and more like the internet arguing in a castle. All of it backed by a 40-hour soundtrack spanning every genre under the sun, because nothing says "tropical livestock siege warfare" like unexpectedly going hard to medieval bardcore, then jazz, then whatever happens next. Missed the perfect shot? Hold R. Castle resets. Try again. No shame. Only science. Build custom sieges Sculpt fortresses block by block in the built-in map editor. Paint colors, flood moats, place archers and wizards, drop a princess in a tower window, and playtest instantly. Publish to Steam Workshop so others can play your creations — and suffer through them too. Free-fly camera — explore the battlefield, or ride your projectile through the collapse like a hero who made questionable life choices. If you've ever wanted to solve medieval architecture problems with livestock, this is your game. The sheep, and the kingdom, are counting on you.
